This is my life now
by xyouaremylifenowx
Summary: Set after twilight and before new moon, this is my life now takes a look at Bella and Edwards relationship between the books. Bellas POV. Please review and leave comments. -Stephenie Meyer owns all rights and characters-
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Summer in forks, or something like it.

I took a deep breath, Edwards scent filled my lungs, my head, my every thought and I was happy, blissfully happy. It was one of the brightest days I remember since I'd moved to Forks, in fact since I used to visit Charlie here, all those summers ago. It wasn't Arizona hot, or anything similar to it but it was Forks hot. Edward's skin shimmered in the sunlight, so pale, shooting fragments of sunlight from his bare chest. His pearly skin, the bed of his tiny gold crystals that glittered with the light, was one of the most phenomenal sights I had ever seen. I sighed, content and turned to face him. My heart rate soared enough to send any doctor into panic and I reminded myself to breathe again. He led still with his eyes closed in the sunlight, and my favourite crooked smile spread across his face, at the sound of my accelerated heart beat which probably thudded in his sensitive ears like a thousand drums.

"I love you," was all I could pant out. He always dazzled me but it was so much more intense today.

He opened one eye, the darkened gold colour of his iris further sending my heart into overdrive. He looked, with his one eye, into my eyes, and down to my lips and then he crushed against them like the softest ice sculpture. His touch sent shivers through me, not just because of the temperature of his lips, but because he made me feel so alive. When he pulled away, all too soon of course, both of his eyes were shut. He opened them slowly and gracefully repositioned himself closer to me on the grass.

It was bliss. Every moment I had with Edward was memorable, unique and completely unforgettable. My heart was yet to return to its normal rhythm and the electricity that flowed between our bodies, so close but not actually touching, sent my heart scattering frantically.

"Your heart gives so much away about you Bella. I can't hear your thoughts but it's like I can hear your feelings. It's better in a lot of ways, it's special…" he trailed off, obviously in a deep train of thought. He picked up his thoughts seemingly slightly further down the line, "when you sleep, I listen to them, in and out of time".

"You can even dazzle me in my sleep I guess," I blushed crimson, knowing full well he did dazzle me in my sleep, in my dreams. I wish my embarrassing habit to redden didn't cause him pain. He sucked in a huge breath, probably knowing I'd feel guilty, trying to show me he was in control of his thirst whilst 'enjoying the bouquet' as he had once put it.

"I should hunt soon-," he broke off, immediately aware of my panic, I hated it went he went away, I was lonely, missing my better half. "-just for one night, you can go back to your life and I'll go back to mine,"

"I don't have a life without you Edward," it was honest, truer than he could possibly know.

"I just meant you can be human for just one night, and I'll be… well, I'll be what I am," I knew he hated saying the word aloud, and I'd never press him to say it but when he described his perfect self as 'what' it made me cringe, he was not a monster, he was more like a Greek god. "I will be back before you wake up in the morning, I can't stay away from you, even to make staying with you more comfortable."

I loved it when he spoke, almost in riddles, his words so meaningful, often deep and poignant. I could never speak with such poetic ease so I just spluttered "I'll miss you more than you'll ever know".

"Bella, remember when a person becomes… like me, their senses become enhanced, I believe feelings and emotions become enhanced too, especially love. I doubt any human is capable of feeling love like I feel for you, no offence of course."

I stumbled on my words, "uuh- none taken. I guess we'll have to just… agree to disagree then." I closed the gap in-between us on the warm ground and kissed his cheek, lightly for me, before burying my face into his chest. His glorious smell sent my head whirling and lulled me into the most pleasant of sleeps and of course my dream was full of Edward.

I was on his back, he was running, in the smooth rhythmic way he always did. But we weren't in the forest running like we were in so many of my dreams; we were running through a bloomed vineyard, his smell was so vivid even in my sleep that it overwhelmed the smell of the nature. We weaved between the neatly trimmed rows of the vineyard, my hair blowing behind me like the cape of a superhero. Except I was certainly not the superhero in this scenario, I was mediocre compared with Edward, sturdy and fast carrying me through the never ending vines, laughing musically in time with his stride.

When I woke it was twilight, a perfectly clear evening, still warm and very picturesque. Stars were beginning to emerge, dotting across the sky and the trees fully in blossom, reflected the silvery light that danced towards us. But all the stars and twilights in the world could not compare with Edwards alluring smile and his tender eyes, now staring adoringly down into mine.

"You look exhausted Bella, come on I'll carry you home", he beamed. I knew Edward liked taking care of me, and if I was honest I liked it too. I used to be fiercely independent in Arizona, I'd always be the one to look after the house, to keep my mother on track, tell her where to go, what to do and when, but since I met Edward, as long as it was him looking after me, most of the time I couldn't be happier.

"Already? It's been such a beautiful day, can't we stay just a bit longer?" He pulled me to my feet and cradled me into his chest, he wrapped his arms delicately around my waist and kissed my head lightly.

"Charlie will be wondering where you are, plus you have the _Black's_ coming for dinner, remember?" I could feel him stiffen fractionally when he said their name and I knew he'd prefer it if I didn't see Jacob or Billy any more.

"Shoot, I forgot. I need to put the dinner on, I can't remember what time they're meant to be here and I- ,"he cut me off midsentence and placed his icy finger on my lips.

"They're not coming until 8.30, you have plenty of time if we leave now."

I mumbled slightly under his finger before he removed it and planted his arm back around my waist, pulling me even tighter to his chest this time, "you know I'd stay if I could" I whispered into his chest.

******

I turned on the oven and quickly stirred the sauce I had going on the hob, completely filled with thoughts of today. I wondered if Edward would hunt tonight while I was occupied with the Black's or whether he'd hang around to listen by the house. The thought would've made me angry if I didn't wish that he was close the whole time so maybe I could sneak off to see him pretending to need the toilet or something. I snapped out of my fantasies when I heard Charlie's boots clumping down the stairs.

"Smells good, Bells" for a deluded second I thought maybe Charlie could smell Edward on my clothes but then I remembered about the lamb shanks I had roasting in the oven.

I smiled timidly and sniffed a bit to clear my nose. "You and Billy watching the game tonight then?"

"Yeah hopefully, it's the Mariner's so hopefully dinner won't clash..?" he said it as more of a request than a passing thought but I looked at the clock pretending to calculate timings to humour him.

"I guess I could fit it in before" I smiled, and then put down the wooden spoon in my hand. "I'm just going to go get changed out of these clothes dad, call me if the sauce starts to boil over."

I turned on my heels and took the stairs two at a time to get to my room. I began to pull my t-shirt over my head when mid-way Edwards lingering scent filled my nostrils and I found myself sat on my bed with my shirt over my head. I must have sat there like that for 10 minutes, just taking in his smell when I heard nervous grunts from the kitchen. Charlie must be deciphering whether the food needed my assistance.

I reluctantly pulled my t-shirt off of my head and buttoned up a clean blue shirt and slipped on a denim skirt. I put the t-shirt under my pillow in preparation in case I had to have a night without Edward and rushed on back down to the kitchen where I could hear Charlie stirring the sauce. I quickly relieved him from kitchen duty and he went to the fridge to grab a beer before scuffling into the living room and flicking the television on. My sauce was in a bad state so I added some more red wine and turned the heat down.

Half an hour later there was a confident, rapping on the door and I opened it to see a beaming Jacob laden with beers and Billy in his chair, hidden behind a mountain of cans. I smiled back and helped Jacob with his load, whilst he wheeled Billy inside. Charlie appeared from the living room and strode enthusiastically over to Billy where they reunited with a manly firm pat on the shoulder. Jacob's hair had grown a bit since I'd last seen him but it was still the same distinctive, jet black, long and glossy hair I remembered. His skin was the exact opposite of Edwards, dark and grubby looking, and a lot more childish.

"It smells delicious Bella," Billy grinned and Jacob peered around to assess what was cooking. I meandered over to the fridge to put as many beers as I could fit in on chill but I sighed in defeat after the 12th and piled the rest on the kitchen unit.

"Hey Jacob, come and sit down, I can't really leave the food, I tried that earlier and Charlie nearly cremated it". Charlie and Billy were just heading out to the yard where Charlie wanted to show Billy his new cruiser.

He snorted and pulled out a chair before slumping boyishly into it. It was another contrast to Edward's gentlemanly composure. "It's been a while Bells, you haven't come to the rez in so long!"

A slight pang of guilt came over me when I remembered promising him a visit a few weeks back. I thought of a little white lie to alleviate my guilt and so he knew I hadn't forgot about him, "yeah sorry I've just had so much school work at the moment so I haven't really been out much and I had the flu last week so I got behind." The flu part wasn't completely untrue but it was more the sniffles than flu.

"Sure sure no worries, but you should come up while the weather is still nice, we could go on the beach again like that time you were down with those kids from your school."

I smiled to myself at how he called my friends from school 'kids' when he was younger than them. I loved Jacob's relaxed approach to things and when I was with him I began to feel young, well began to feel my age. I turned the lamb shanks round quickly, and then pulled out a chair opposite Jake.

"Yeah definitely. The weather was really good today wasn't it? Did you do anything nice," I tried to blow the conversation of me going to La Push away a bit, I didn't want to make more commitments when I didn't know if I would stick by them. I'd try and make a trip over next time Edward had to go hunting further away and he couldn't make a one-night trip.

Jacob pulled off his jumper as if my question reminded him that he didn't need one, "yeah it was good, some friends came over and we worked on an old quad bike I've been fixing up."

Conversation carried on about his projects, his friends and a bit about school all through dinner and the game, much to Charlie and Billy's annoyance. Jacob seemed less interested in the game than his father but he did smile when the Mariners won the game.

"Well it's getting late Jacob we best be off" Billy said a couple more beers after the game had ended.

"It was good to see you Billy, and you Jacob, those fishing plans should materialize soon while the weather is this good." Charlie said, getting up.

"God knows it won't last long" I added, yawning slightly. It was past midnight and I hadn't had much sleep with Edward with me for most of last night.

"Yeah, well see you soon Bells, Charlie" Jacob nodded once to us in turn, "thanks for dinner, it was good Bella, who knew you could cook." Charlie hesitated as if he should defend the comment but then he joined in the chuckles whilst I gave Jacob a teasing scowl.

Everyone said goodnight and Charlie saw Jacob and Billy back out to their truck whilst I began to wash the dishes and clear away the countless cans. My mind wandered back to my day with Edward as it often had whilst the Black's were here. I wondered if he was hunting or whether he would be waiting near the house to come into my bedroom. The thought made me race through the washing up, and I finished a few minutes after Charlie came back in.

"Well I'm going to bed now Dad, I'm exhausted, must've been all the food" I bluffed. As far as Charlie knew I had gone to bed at 9 the previous evening. He wished me a good night's sleep and I dissolved up the stairs. I flung my bedroom door open to find no Edward. Perhaps he was hunting. I'd leave my window open whilst I had a quick shower but if he wasn't there when I got back, I'd spend the night alone, missing him.

When I came back in, clean teeth, fresh face, in my scruffy old t-shirt from summer camp in Arizona and some old sweats, not my favourite ones though, he wasn't in my room. I felt my heart sink to the floor as I shut the window and miserably clambered into bed pulling the t-shirt I was wearing earlier today out from under the pillow. It did not do his scent justice anymore as it had begun to fade and I eventually fell asleep, brooding.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Alone

I woke up alone for the first time in a long time, I was used to Edward being the first and last thing I saw each day. And I didn't like it that today was an exception as was last night. I wondered if maybe his hunting trip got prolonged or perhaps he was more upset than I interpreted about me seeing Jacob last night. Whatever the reason, it was unusual, and I found myself pacing my room. I didn't look at the time but from the light, it could only have been about 8.00am. The sunlight was creeping slightly around the sides of my curtains. I could already tell it wouldn't be as sunny as yesterday; there was a greyish tint to the sunlight creeping into my bedroom.

I opened the curtains, almost in anticipation, I wondered if his Volvo would be parked outside and he was whisking me away. But there was no Volvo. And there were clouds, thick wispy grey clouds but they filtered the sunlight and dimmed the atmosphere.

I inspected my room from where I was stood, perhaps Edward came in during the night but had to leave, perhaps he'd left a note or a sign he'd been there. But I couldn't find anything and my heart ached around the edges, I felt drastically lonely. I knew it was melodramatic, almost everyone my age went to sleep and woke up alone on a daily basis but it wasn't me and it wasn't Edward.

I slipped a thin jumper on, not bothering to hop in the shower yet. It was a Sunday and I had little to do without Edward. I didn't want to mope, so I tried to become active and I grabbed a Jane Austen book without looking which one and left my room. I looked out the window when I was downstairs and realised my dad's cruiser wasn't there. Maybe he'd gone fishing or to the Clearwater's. Admittedly, I wouldn't know as I didn't pay much attention to him and Billy last night.

I flicked the kettle on and leant against the unit waiting. Meanwhile I flipped my book open, I now discovered I'd subconsciously chosen Pride and Prejudice, and it flopped open onto the place where it was most creased on the spine, my favourite page. I scanned it, unable to focus and sighed, slamming the book shut in frustration. I really wasn't much of a person without Edward. The kettle spooked me when it clicked off and I wearily poured a cup of tea feeling weak and helpless.

I flitted around for an hour or so, picking things up and moving them, putting a wash on and checking the phone messages 2 times in case I missed one the first time. There was only one from someone at the station and an old one from Renee. Outside it was getting slowly brighter, a few clouds had shifted but there was still a murkier tinge to the day.

Fine. I'll shower. Maybe Edward thought I'd be sleeping in after my later night last night and he was waiting until he thought I'd be better rested. If I showered perhaps Alice would see that I was ready for him to come and he would come and take me out of my hamster cage. I hopped up the stairs with new optimism and got a clean towel out of the laundry cupboard.

The hot water felt nice on my tired and tense muscles. I rolled my head back and filled my nostrils with the steam, shaking my hair a bit. After I was over the rush of the hot water I began to hurry, still feeling the new optimism. My hair was shampooed and conditioned in no time and I stepped out of the shower wrapped in a towel. I brushed my teeth and scurried back into my room.

Again, like last night I opened my bedroom door with anticipation, just to find the empty room exactly the same as I had left it a couple of hours ago. I got annoyed with myself for building my hopes up and so I threw my towel on the floor, put on clean underwear, a pair of jeans and the same jumper I slipped on when I got out of bed. It was still only just past 10.00am, the day was early.

I was completely lost in my own house. Bored out of my brain, yet incapable of focusing on a task to take my mind of my boredom and my loneliness. I would seem insane to Jessica or Angela. I couldn't cope for a matter of waking hours without Edward.

It was now lunchtime. Edward would know I would be up by now, perhaps it was the Jacob thing. Charlie was still not back and I decided he would probably be gone for the day as his wallet wasn't on the cabinet in the living room. Well if Edward was upset maybe he was waiting for me to go to him. My hair was still slightly damp so I put it in a messy pony tail and grabbed the keys to my truck. If he wants me to go to him, then I will. After all it is always him coming to me. I'd never really noticed before now.

I rolled down the window of my truck. It wasn't particularly warm but I liked the taste of the air today. It tasted of the forest and it tasted of the previous day's sun. I turned on the old stereo and began to sing along to the song I recognised from one of Phil's old C.D's. I thought about Renee and Phil for a while, hoping they were well. It seemed like ages since I'd spoken to my mum, although realistically it had only been about a week.

The journey went quickly. I felt weirdly anxious as I made the hidden turning towards the Cullen's house, I was worried that Edward wouldn't want to see me. I wound slowly up to the house, they would all have heard me coming by now, they could hear an average car from a long distance and so my loud clattering truck could be heard from miles! I parked the truck in front of the house, but in no particular way. I didn't park as if I was staying, neatly and parallel to the house, and I didn't park as if it was a fleeting visit, messy and in the way. The truth was I didn't know if I would be staying or leaving. I pulled hard on my handbrake, stepped out of my truck and ambled nervously towards the front door.

Before I could knock, Alice flung the door wide open. "Bella!" she exclaimed, she sounded as if she was surprised, although I was pretty sure it was nearly impossible to surprise Alice. She wrapped her cold arms round me and I thought I felt her exhale out a slow, long breath as if she were relieved about something.

"Hey Alice!" I worked to keep my voice sounded upbeat although I was feeling slightly hysterical. "Is Edward about?" I tried to seem casual but I doubt my pretence fooled her.

She released me, but grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door, I felt that Alice was rushing but I couldn't for the life of me work out why. "He's in his room, go on up," she instructed hurriedly. I flashed her a quick smile but I'm sure I probably looked more like I was in pain. I was feeling very apprehensive and I felt my stomach churning. What if my worst nightmare was about to come true and Edward didn't want me any more? I felt like turning around and running from my thoughts, but I knew I should remain calm until I heard what he had to say.

I uneasily side-stepped Alice and headed for the stairs. The house seemed eerily quiet; I couldn't hear Emmett's booming laugh or the television which was normally on constantly as part of the human charade. I felt slightly amused at how simple we seemed to the Cullen's, a television and a few items of food in the fridge and they fit in, if you ignored their overwhelming beauty, speed and elegance.

I clattered up the stairs, my feet stumbling as my nerves became more apparent. I would definitely seem crazy, in my old jumper rushing to see if my boyfriend (the word definitely seems inadequate) was going to split up with me. I paused outside the door, should I knock, or just walk in. I couldn't even remember what I'd normally do, to be honest today was the first time I'd properly thought how I should enter Edward's bedroom.

So I rapped gently on the door and then opened it before I got an answer. The sight of him knocked the breath out of me and I took in a jagged breath, feeling dizzy.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: You can't say that to me

His absence, however short or inconsequential it may've seemed to him or anybody else, made his beauty staggering. His face at first looked torn but it soon straightened out to look less pained and more anxious… I didn't know why he looked like this, his flawless face seemed so tense and it certainly didn't seem to mirror the enormity of love I felt for him. I always thought I loved Edward more but this was clearly about more than my feelings for him.

I felt my eye's stinging and I was shocked as I felt a tear spill over my eye and roll down my face. I couldn't move and I couldn't speak. I felt like my body had iced up and was incapable of movement but my mind was sprinting. I couldn't begin to imagine how torn I myself must have looked but my expression made Edward stand up and glide towards me fluidly, so it must've been clear to see.

"Bella, I- are you okay?" He asked gripping my elbow and very gently shaking it.

I blinked and another tear dropped. It hit the floor and then I snapped my head up, as if awakened by the noise it made. It said a lot about how quiet the room was when I could hear a tear splash onto the floor.

"Edward, what's wrong, why weren't you there last night or even this morning and just then, why did you look so-"I gushed out a stream of panicked thoughts and then got stumped when I tried to find a word to describe how he'd looked when I came into his room, "-so dead?"

I could see the pain flare in his eyes, which were now the most brilliant golden colour. My heart expanded to the point I thought it may splinter into the tiniest fragments and my stomach twisted painfully. "Bella, I promised you in the hospital in Phoenix that I'd be here as long as it's what's best for you and you're happy , well I think now is the time I need to go, to let you live the life that's so much better for you." He looked to the floor and I felt his hand that gripped my elbow, turn colder still before he quickly released his grip and dropped it to his side.

"Edward, no, I don't understand, we had the most perfect day yesterday, I can't live without you Edward, I have nothing without you and there would be no more reason for anything, I-"

He cut me off, "Bella please, every moment I'm with you I'm just making it harder to be apart from you and whilst you are human and I am, a- vampire, then I am putting you in immense danger. It will be hard enough to leave you as it is and I need to let you live the life you were meant to have lived."

"I don't understand Edward, this is the only life I could ever have been meant to live because this is the only life in which I could ever be happy?"

"If you had never of met me you would be with someone that's right for you, that can't hurt you like I can." He was still looking away but I saw him grimace when he talked about hurting me. I felt like I was drowning, I reached toward him and he held both of my elbows now, "Bella, you can be happy, you will see, you need someone like…Jacob Black, someone that is healthy for you."

"Jacob Black? What has any of this got to do with him?" I saw regret flash through his eyes and he hesitated before he spoke as if he didn't want to say it.

"Bella, I came back from hunting last night and I was waiting by your house so I would know when Billy and Jacob had left and I saw how other people saw you two together."

"Edward, I don't understand." I was definitely drowning.

"Billy has a very black and white perspective, he sees things in a certain way and he often has… decent reasoning behind his thoughts. I was listening to him thinking and I could see how the way you and Jacob look together was being interpreted by him," he stared right into my eyes and the tears began flowing uncontrollably now and he quickly carried on talking, "it's nothing you've done wrong Bella, he just sees two… soul mates. He knows how right Jacob could be for you."

"Edward you don't understand, I could only ever be friends with Jacob, and I am so in love with you, I could never see another person that way." My stomach knotted ten-fold.

"Bella I know that. That's why I need to give you a chance, a chance to be with someone else and to fall in a love that's so much more natural."

"If you leave me Edward, it won't be love I find, there will be nothing to find, the world would be empty to me. Edward, Billy sees things the way he wants to see them, hell doesn't everybody? I wish you could hear my thoughts now so you could believe how irrevocably in love I am with you."

He saw me crumbling. With every new tear that fell a dozen more followed and I began to feel hollow. The look that I had come to know was scrawled over his beautiful face, he was sure that he was right. With that the final thread of hope that my heart was clinging desperately on to, disintegrated and I felt my heart obliterate. My whole world was crashing to an end and I couldn't even slow it down, but then suddenly his eyes turned repentant and he looked more pained than I had ever seen anyone look.

"Bella believe me I want to stay with you but I find it so hard when I know I am endangering you. I have fought so hard to protect you all this time but how can I fight for you when I am the one endangering you now. I am my own worst enemy."

"If you want to stay with me then stay Edward. Take yesterday, you were thirsty but it wasn't that feeling that you showed me, you showed me love, you kissed me and you held me and I felt so complete."

"My love for you will always over ride my thirst, but I can never loose control with you Bella. I don't know how much longer I can trust myself for" He spoke of himself with such disgust and it hurt me unbearably.

"I trust you. Everyone at school, they stay away Edward because they have a natural instinct warning them of supposed 'danger' but I don't have that instinct or feel any compulsion to stay away from you and it's because you would never hurt me. You could never hurt me and my human nature knows that when others don't." I fought with everything I had, I felt so weak but I couldn't let go. It simply wasn't an option.

"I'm so sorry Bella." I opened my mouth to fight again, to use my last oxygen before I was incapacitated with the water that drowned me but something stopped me and flooded my body with oxygen and life. Edward was kissing me. Kissing me like he had never done before, he wasn't holding back, it was so intimate. I felt like I had overdosed on morphine. He pulled away and I felt my head jolt forward slightly from the force I was still exerting. "I am here, as I always will be. How could I ever really let go? I'm sorry I upset you Bella, I needed you to have the opportunity to get away from me."

"There is no where else I would want to be Edward, absolutely nowhere, I love you." And then I sobbed. I sobbed heart-wrenchingly for an hour, barely able to breathe. I came too close to losing my destiny and for now it was safe but I couldn't stop myself crying. Edward positioned me onto his lap and cradled me the whole time, stroking my hair, kissing my head and muttering infinite apologies.

I literally cried myself to sleep and I woke still in Edwards arms and it was sunset.

I opened one eye very briefly and caught a glimpse of the perfectly orange sky, the sun warm and perfectly visible. There were a few clouds still in the sky but it was still unusual weather for Fork's. My cheeks were stiff where my tears had dried on my face. Edward sensed me wake up and he kissed my head again and apologised so sincerely that it hurt me.

"I-I'm sorry I fell asleep, and I'm sorry I cried so much, everyone must have heard me, wailing like a baby." Edward looked tenderly down to me and smiled timidly.

"Nobody heard, Emmett and Rosalie continued hunting for bigger game when I came home yesterday night and everyone else went out shortly after you arrived. I guess Alice must've saw what had been coming, but don't worry she won't blab, I promise." I wrapped my arms around his waist and swivelled myself up so I was sat facing him, on his lap. "I'm so sorry I hurt you" he said with such meaning that I felt guilty that he was feeling guilty for something that he felt inclined to do.

"Edward, you thought you were doing what would make me safe, although there is no danger. Please stop apologising; you're making me feel bad." And then he laughed and the sound was like the most striking composition. My heart beat erratically at the sound and suddenly Edward scooped me up and held me securely whilst he set my feet to the ground.

"It's so like you to feel bad for my mistakes…" He brushed a clump of stray hair behind my ear, "Charlie will be back from work soon Bella, I think you should freshen up. I'll follow you home in my Volvo and I can bring the car back here when it's a normal human time to leave someone's house, and then I'll run back and I could spend the night at yours, assuming you want me there after what I did today?" he quickly put his hand up, "technically that wasn't an apology Bella!"

"Sound's perfect. I'll always want you Edward, always and forever."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Corruption

I woke up the next morning and Edward was lying next to me on my bed flicking through an old magazine I'd had somewhere unbeknown to me. This morning started off how yesterday morning should've. I opened my eyes and I could see the grey tinge to my room. It must've rained overnight.

Edward placed the magazine down and kissed my head as I propped myself up on my pillow. Today was going to be a much better day; in fact I could feel it would be a good day. Looking out my window I saw droplets of rain falling from the leaves of the tree that was taking a battering from the wind. I shivered and pulled the duvet tightly around me as Edward chuckled and stood up.

"Bella you should get up, we'll be late for school if you don't hurry," he smiled down at me, offering me his glacial hand. I took it and he pulled me gently out of bed, setting me on my feet. I turned to look at the time, and then gasped in horror.

"Edward, why didn't you wake me?!" I almost yelled. I quickly put my hand over my mouth worrying that Charlie might not have left for work yet.

He just smirked and handed me some trousers and a thick jumper, "you were exhausted yesterday, and hey, you still have time to get ready, you just can't be too human about it."

"Right, you should have just changed me and saved me all this bother" I used sarcasm because I couldn't really be mad at Edward. He simply rolled his golden eyes and ushered me to the bathroom.

I rushed to put on clean underwear that I had hanging on a drying rack in the bathroom before sliding into Edward's outfit selection for the day. I dragged a comb through my hair and brushed my teeth, all in record time. I'd show him not being 'human about it'.

I opened my bedroom door smugly as the clock informed me that I was probably now on time, for me. I could just skip breakfast today and I'd have to put that wash load on later, I didn't want Edward to pull me up on being 'the slow human' as well as unorganised. Edward just flung me a coat, hooked my school bag, which I assumed he'd packed, over his arm and led me down the stairs.

I fumbled with my coat trying to put it on, and he laughed again. He always had to help me with the most basic of tasks and I began feeling like a moron. I swiped my bag from his arm and strode out of the door agitated. But again, he just laughed.

"Wait up now Bella, you're outrunning the-" he paused momentarily to lower his voice, "vampire, maybe you should've changed _me_." He winked and then dashed towards my truck. I was shocked that he was behaving so inhuman when any of my neighbours could've been strolling down their front paths to collect their newspaper or peering out the window at the lovely blustery day…

"Perhaps you could at least act human while people might see you." I pulled open my truck door and threw my bag in. "I guess you're riding with me for a change."

"They're still asleep, I can hear." He scanned the neighbourhood briefly before opening his own door and easing his way in agilely. Of course just to highlight the contrast I had to clumber in banging my boots on every possible edge before hitting my head on the sun visor that was still down from the sun I guess. He laughed yet again.

"You are in a good mood today aren't you?" I commented.

"There is no reason not to be. Now drive, you're making me late!" This time _I_ rolled my eyes, before starting the thunderous engine and pulling my old truck out of Charlie's drive. The bitter wind whistled against the old metal as I pushed my truck to 50 in attempt to recover time.

*********************************

Lessons flew by in a blur as my mind wondered back through the weekend. Overall it was a good weekend with only the one set back. The one pretty big set back. But the meadow, the sun, and of course Edward, just made the weekend spectacular, plus I saw Jacob which relieved my conscience a bit although I owed him another visit really.

Lunchtime came and Edward greeted me outside my trigonometry class to walk me to the cafeteria. It was of course packed today because the clouds had really let loose throughout the morning and the rain was torrential. It was hard to believe I hadn't dreamt the sun this weekend.

I could see Mike's table with all the regulars sat round it plus a few kids that usually sat on their own. I didn't think anything of it but today we proceeded to sit at the Cullen table with Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper instead of joining them like we sometimes did. Rosalie didn't look up as I placed my tray down on the table but everyone else greeted me and joined me in their conversation.

It seemed Alice had seen thunder in the next couple of weeks and they were planning to play baseball again. Edward seemed a bit rigid at the thought of me being there again, so he murmured something about us being pretty busy for the next couple of weeks.

I just blocked him out and enthused about the plans with Jasper who was elated at playing again. I hadn't noticed personally but Emmett pointed out that there hadn't been any 'proper thunder' in quite a while.

After lunch Edward was walking me towards my next class when he stopped and pulled me to the side, "Bella, how about we skip this afternoon, I want to take you somewhere." I was hesitant, I had gym and I wasn't exactly doing well in that subject, although skipping it seemed like the most ideal of happenings. "I don't want to corrupt you but remember when I told you it's healthy to skip class every once in a while, I'm still right about that."

"Well… where are we going?" I tried to be diplomatic and argue it out in my head but I seemed to have a million and one reasons for skipping gym and one reason for not.

"Does it really matter?" I knew that he would know that to me it didn't matter, as long as I was with him, but I pressed for it.

"Yes it does, I want to know if it's justifiable for skipping class."

He seemed to deliberate whether or not to tell me and then he sighed, "I want to take you to somewhere that's… special to me, is that enough?"

I peeled my eyes away and looked towards the gym. I resigned, and took his hand. "Fine it's enough".


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for reading so far! I haven't updated in a while but I'm going to try and get more chapters uploaded this week. I really want to know what people think of it so far so I'd be really grateful for any reviews, good or bad (: Thank you, Laura xxx**

Chapter 5: Edward's special place

"Are you going to tell me where we are heading yet?" I protested, as Edward steadied me whilst I stumbled over another tree root. The forest floor was slippery from the rain and my feet flailed beneath me like a giraffe on ice.

Edward smiled my favourite crooked smile, "have some patience Bella, we're nearly there." He strolled so elegantly over the forest floor, making no sound, as I clattered and slipped constantly. "It's worth the journey."

"Surely you could've parked a bit closer, we've been walking for over an hour already." My ankle buckled as I spoke and I pulled on Edwards arm to prevent me from falling. He had me in a second, setting me back on my feet and taking a step back so he was right at my side.

"We could always run Bella?" he raised his eyebrows.

"It isn't a case of 'we', plus I thought you said we were nearly there?" I tested him. Cutting class to slip and fall over rocks and roots wasn't what I thought his 'special place' entailed. My legs ached, it felt like we'd trudged up hilly terrain and never come back down.

"We are, it's just a few more minutes or so. I only suggested it as you seem very… impatient."

I smiled shyly, "sorry I guess I'm just curious that's all. So where are we at the moment?"

Edward bent to the forest floor and plucked a bluebell from the floor, tucking it behind my ear so it poked through my hair, it was damp but I didn't mind, "we're near enough in the centre of the forest, I parked as close as possible." My mind raced, what was going to be so special in the centre of the forest. I couldn't imagine anywhere near as wonderful as our meadow but maybe it was a different thing entirely. I tore my eyes away from the forest floor, which I was sure would have its consequences, and looked at Edward. The atmosphere was damp and heavy, droplets of rain still fell whenever the wind shook the canopy of trees and I was splattered with water and I had moss stains blanketing my knees. Yet Edward looked as flawless as ever.

_His_ knees were still spotless and _his_ shoes had no scuffs or dirt marks as mine did. His hair fell perfectly without a strand out of place and I couldn't help but look down at mine flicking wildly with stray hairs poking out everywhere. I didn't realise we'd stopped.

"Bella, what are you doing?" he laughed bemused.

"Just…seeing," I didn't need to give him more of an explanation, he just raised one eyebrow and shook his head with a smile still pulling at his lips. He grasped my hand firmly and peered around the tree in front of us.

"Just there, you see Bella?" I eagerly stepped forward poking my head around his shoulder to find what he was pointed out. I couldn't comprehend. It looked like more of the same. I continued to look, maybe I was looking but not seeing. I assessed everything that was presented to me, the mossy trees, more of the same, the mossy rocks, more of the same, a few flowering weeds, yet more of the same. Edwards laugh suddenly boomed in the entangled trees of the forest and he pulled me forward a few more paces.

Still I was not comprehending. Edward didn't drag me through the forest, tempt me into skipping class just to see a mossy tree I had seen a million times before, well not that exact tree but one of the same, surely?

But I realised that even if this was his special place, it didn't matter that it didn't look out of the ordinary to me, he could be taking me to a mossy tree I had seen a million times before and it wouldn't matter as long as I was with him.

I smiled at him, misunderstanding clear in my expression, "well it's very pretty Edward. So why is it special to you?"

He laughed again, and it ricocheted from the surroundings, "I'll show you why." Before I could interpret what he had said I was straddled on his back and he was ascending this 'same old mossy tree', swinging up through the branches. I looked down feeling pretty terrified but I knew there was no chance of me falling, I was pretty sure Edward acted faster than gravity.

We had reached the top but my eyes were still fixated on the ground which was now calling several hundred feet below me. My stomach turned. That must be a human instinct that _was_ still in tact though, because I knew I wouldn't fall, well I knew Edward would catch me.

"Bella, look around you" Edward chimed. I could hear the smile in his voice, but the destination my eyes reached first when I looked up, naturally, was his face and the smile was still spread widely across it. He was looking straight out from the tree, and I followed his gaze until I met what he was looking at.

I gasped, unable to blink or breathe. The view was simply incredible. There was only one sight more beautiful and that was Edward himself. The rest of the forest canopy just lapped at the height of our feet until the forest rolled out into a lower valley, a deeper ocean where the trees seemed much shorter.

"This is the tallest place in the forest, we're in the top of the tallest tree on the tallest hill here. We're also at the exact centre point of the forest."

I struggled for breath, "it's beautiful." I could see the entire forest from here but I could also see houses and smoke rising from chimneys. There were clouds that seemed reachable in the foreground but some sunlight still filtered through and the atmosphere around the forest had the loveliest emerald tinge.

"I can see everything from here. Look," he gently turned my gaze and extended his arm forward, still keeping the other around my waist, "that is Carlisle's house just down there by the river."

I looked and surely enough it was there, it seemed so natural buried amongst the trees, and it seemed ironic that such a supernaturally perfect family inhabited it.

"And, if you look over there," his arm moved so he pointed a few degrees left along from the Cullen house, "just beyond the forest boundary, 8 houses to the right, where I am pointing, that's your house." I smiled as I could make out the shape of Charlie's house and I could see the old roof, it seemed the moss had spread to the houses as well.

"And if you look over here on the other side," his point adjusted again, "that is La Push, and the small house with the battered garage, that's the _Black's_." He swallowed hard as if saying their name was so strenuous. "And that is why it's special here."

"Because you can see the Black's?" I pronounced the name with perfect clarity to show Edward that it wasn't hard after all. I knew I was slightly missing his point.

"No silly, because I can see you," his eyes fell down to meet mine, "wherever you are if I'm here I can see you, in a certain sense. Sometimes when you go _there_ or when you're home and I'm waiting for the time when Charlie will be asleep, I come here and watch the house." A rush of peace washed over me, Edward was always with me in my heart and in my mind when he wasn't literally there, but now I knew that in a weird sense he was physically there with me too.

"Don't get me wrong, it's not like spying or… guarding Bella, I'm not actually looking into your house or anything, I just like to come here and know that you're there." He looked sort of anxious.

"I wasn't thinking that at all Edward, it's nice, it's like we're always physically connected as well as emotionally and mentally…" I trailed off getting lost in his burning eyes.

"You explained it better than I did," he chuckled. He took a sweeping glance of our home, first Forks and then La Push also, before he bent down and kissed me.

It turned out that Edward's special place had become a special place for me as well. Everywhere I went with him and everything I did with him was special, mainly because he was so incredibly special. I could never have wished for a better outcome for skipping gym.

The sun had begun lowering in the sky and as our legs dangled down from the branch we sat on, I almost forgot there was the real world to get back to. We had talked the rest of the school day out and normally I would've been home by now, starting Charlie's dinner.

"I guess I should get you home before Charlie get's back." Edward sighed, squinting out across the forest.

Charlie seemed to be the leash that pulled me home on days like this, but I could never have been happier that I had moved to Fork's with him. Never would I have imagined I'd be happier in Forks than I was in Phoenix or any other place in the world. Fork's was my anchorage as long as Edward was with me, which in my world was going to be forever.

"Yeah I guess I should be getting back, will you come in?"

"I'll run you home so we get there quicker, but I should call home for a bit just to change clothes." He kissed my head as we continued to stare out across the green landscape.

"But you'll be back tonight, right?" I knew that if he called home I would have time to have a shower and put that wash on before he came round and I could also get dinner out of the way, but it dulled my mood that he had to be away for even the shortest amount of time.

"I'll be back as soon as Charlie is asleep, I promise you."

I wondered if in the spare time between him getting changed and coming to my house, whether he would be here, with me in that odd physical sense but I didn't voice my thoughts. I didn't want to break the silence that was as meaningful as anything I could say.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks for your persistence people, I promised more chapters this week so I'm trying to get more written. Thank you for reviews and things, keep them coming (: I really want to know more of what people think. Take care everyone, Laura xxx**

Chapter 6: Back to reality

I woke up on another wet Tuesday morning. Edward had run home to collect his Volvo to take me to school. He thought that Charlie may get suspicious if he turned up without his car to take me to school. Charlie wasn't working today, he'd taken the day off to fish whilst the weather 'was perfect'.

My hopes sunk when I realised that today was a school day and although I would be with Edward for most of my lessons, the day didn't hold as much potential as yesterday had in the end, as I was off to La Push instead of being with Edward after school. Charlie was going to be fishing until late with Harry and Billy and he had told Jacob that I would come round.

It wasn't that I didn't want to see Jacob, because I did, I really did enjoy his company. It was just that it meant I wouldn't be with Edward. Edward had only been gone for 15 minutes but I was already pacing.

He pulled up outside just a few minutes later and he beeped his horn gently so it made the faintest of noises. I crossed to my window although I knew it was his car, my heart knew it especially, it could hear the sound of the engine and the smooth running of the tires along the road and it was sent into palpitations. A reflex action of sorts.

He was leaning against his car, smiling up at my window. I smiled back before I grabbed my bag and zipped my coat up preparing to brave the weather. I called a quick "goodbye" to Charlie and swung open the front door. It was blustery and the rain stung my face as I ran for the Volvo that was purring at the end of my driveway. Edward held my door open and shut it gently behind me once I was in.

He'd been stood in the rain and although his clothes were wet he still looked fresh and faultlessly tidy in the intended places. His hair was still in the perfectly effortless style that he branded and his skin was still the same even colour, of course he was glowing white but there was not one blemish or blotch. I looked at myself in the rear-view mirror and couldn't help but notice my dishevelled hair and my red nose and cheeks.

He slid into the driver's seat and turned on the radio. It came onto a local station that happened to be playing a classical song I didn't recognise. However, unsurprisingly, Edward was humming as soon as the radio was on and he followed the tune as if he'd composed it himself. It wouldn't surprise me if he had, in an earlier decade or something. I smiled briefly at my thoughts.

"What was that for?" he asked taking his eyes off of the road and smiling along with me.

"Nothing really." I didn't want to share my thought, and add published composer onto his incessant list of accomplishments. I was sure that when- and not if- I live for a century I won't make the same amount of accomplishments.

"So Alice saw the baseball game today, it's a shame though, we'll both be in school." It really didn't look like he thought it was a shame. It looked like he had just received good news.

I teased him, "well the weather report last night forecasted a lot of stormy weather this week so maybe Alice will see another opportunity for us to go along." The weather man did say this so I wasn't lying. Although I saw first saw _them _in the clearing and it therefore held some bad memories, I knew there wouldn't be a repeat of it this time and I would love to see the Cullen's play baseball again. Never before had a sport been so appealing to me.

He glared a bit ahead of him out the windshield, "I'm pretty sure it will just be today."

His pessimism tickled me a bit and so I persisted in winding him up, "well I'll keep my fingers crossed." I could see the comment antagonised him and again I smiled. But it appeared that he could tell I was trying to provoke him and he seemed to un-tense back to his normal posture and his eyes opened a bit brighter.

The rain pelted against the windshield and blurred the world outside of the Volvo and I knew that if I was driving I'd find the lack of visibility a major obstacle and I'd probably be parking my truck into a tree around one of the bends. But not Edward, Edward watched through the glass nonchalantly as we stayed in a confident line on the road.

I began to feel bad for winding Edward up and I stopped the teasing. "Well never mind if we miss this one out, well of course you are welcome to go, I doubt you're susceptible to ammonia or even the common cold." I smiled again and this time Edward chuckled loudly shaking his head.

"I'd rather stay in class with you. Alice saw that if I went I would be on the loosing team, so by deciding not to go maybe I'll change the outcome. Besides, knowing that you're going to lose doesn't set a great team spirit." He reached his hand across and held one of mine in it. His hand was bitingly cold and although I was slightly chilled already I wouldn't dream of letting go. His skin felt like velvet against mine.

"So I'm supposed to be seeing Jacob tonight," I slid it in feeling apprehensive about his reaction. I spoke it quietly and I tried to make it seem offhand, like I wasn't bothered if I didn't go. Immediately his hand felt even colder and rigid. This reaction annoyed me, it was melodramatic. Jacob was only a family friend, he felt sort of like a cousin or maybe a brother...

"Yes Charlie was thinking about it. _He's ecstatic_." Edward seemed slightly agitated and I felt stupid for bringing it up.

"Yeah well probably because the Clearwater's will be there. I guess I'll be hanging around with Seth too so that will make a nice change." I didn't want Edward to feel jealous or worried or whatever he may be feeling, I thought maybe the fact that Seth was going too would make him more at ease. It seemed too and his hand relaxed.

Before I knew it we were pulled into the tightest of spaces in between two hefty truck's, perfectly parallel to them and facing the school. I pulled up my hood and grabbed my bag from the floor, Edward was already walking around to get my door for me. Nobody stared the way they used to when we arrived together any more and I felt more comfortable.

Edward put his arm around my waist and held one of his folders over me to help protect me from the rain, as we darted for the building and the sanctuary from the rain.

The rest of the day flew by in a blur like the scene from inside the Volvo. At lunchtime the cafeteria had been packed because of the rain and every table was full at every angle except the Cullen's table which had space for several more people but nobody came over. Mike had waved at me at lunch and I went to talk to him and Jessica for a bit but I found myself drifting away from their conversation.

After lunch it was _me_ that tried to tempt Edward into skipping class unlike yesterday, I knew that he would have somewhere better for us to be than trigonometry. He wasn't having it, he said the weather was too poor anyway and quote, "I only said it was healthy to skip class _every once in a while_." Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmet had skipped at lunch to play baseball and I suspected he wanted to keep me well away. He'd gone on to say something about only going to high school once but at that point I'd been sidetracked. He was still deluded into thinking that, 'if and when' he changed me I'd be too old to pass for a high school student. Of course I knew different.

So I suffered through class and then suffered **much** less through Biology. Well I didn't suffer at all actually. We had an experiment to do so it meant I could talk to Edward with normal volume instead of hushed tones whilst Mr Banner spoke. After school I was impatient to be alone with Edward. The thunder had started and there were loud clatters of it all through the afternoon which meant everyone was buzzing and drifting over to talk to me throughout the lesson.

We drove home and the thunder rumbled frequently. Each time it flashed an image of Victoria in my mind with her wild fiery hair, but she wasn't our problem now, she hadn't been seen since spring… I'd stopped that train of thought before it got too far.

Edward walked me into the house, keeping a different folder over my head to shelter me from the rain, despite my hood and coat. "I ought to go soon Bella, you should have a shower and warm up before… you go out, and besides Charlie is coming home now, he's about 2 minutes away."

"I wish you could come you know." The look he gave me made me feel stupid, it was a look that said 'as if there was a world in which that was a possibility.' I knew all about the hostility between 'the cold ones' and the Quileute's that Jacob told me about in La Push soon after I'd come to Forks, but Jacob had said it was all myth and 'scary stories'. This was more about hostility between teenage boys.

"I'll be here tonight when you come home," Edward said, kissing the top of my head lightly. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck in response and we kissed until the whole kitchen was spinning. Suddenly Edward pulled away and stood back against the counter.

A few seconds later Charlie clumped noisily through the front door, dripping wet, his fishing poles clattering, but his noise was shadowed by the rolling thunder that escaped into the house through the open door. He looked up at us, his fringe saturated and stuck to his forehead, "Edward." It was an acknowledgment, not as friendly as before the Spring but it was an improvement on the first month or so.

It annoyed me that Charlie seemed to pin me 'falling down the stairs and going through a hotel window' on Edward. Of course that isn't what really had happened but as far as he knew it was and that provided no reason to blame Edward. "Good afternoon Chief Swan." Edward was always polite and friendly to Charlie even though Charlie didn't deserve it.

Charlie nodded at him but turned to face me, "take these would you, Bells?" As he spoke the fishing rods began to slip through his hands and I took them off of him before they fell. I also shut the door. The screeching of the wind and the growl of the thunder was ear piercing.

"Well I had best be off, have a nice Evening Charlie," Edward said. Then he came to stand by me and took my hand.

Charlie turned towards the living room and replied "goodbye Edward," as he walked away coughing slightly.

"Well take care tonight Bella," and then he lowered his soft voice, "I'll see you when you're home." He bent down slightly to kiss me again before pulling away and leaving into the rain again. As soon as he left my heart slowed down from the pace it maintained with Edwards presence and it slowed down dramatically from the pace it maintained with Edward's kiss.

*********************

I sat on the living room floor with Jacob and Seth. The house felt swamped by the presence of both, the Clearwater's, myself and Charlie and of course Jacob and Billy. The weather continued to roar over the hum of different conversations going on in the room and every now and then the little house shuddered against the wind. Seth's sister, Leah hadn't come but I don't think anyone really felt her absence.

Jacob was lounged across the carpet and Seth was sat, legs crossed next to him and they both faced me. I tuned back in to the conversation they were having, "yeah but it's got terrible acceleration compared with the other one, or so I heard," Seth challenged.

"Sure sure, but either way this one definitely wins on top speed, it squashes yours Seth." Jacob laughed throatily at Seth, it wasn't the delicate musical laugh I was used to. "Sorry Bells, you must be bored of car talk," Jacob looked apologetic. He was the only person besides Charlie that called me 'Bells' and it made him seem even more like family.

"Its fine really, I don't mind." Jacob had no need to feel apologetic as I'd only caught the last few seconds of the conversation but there was no need to tell him that and hurt his feelings.

Later Jacob, Seth and I wondered out into the kitchen where the hum of voices became a hushed murmur behind the closed door. The wind still rattled the window frames and the lights even flickered a few times.

"Exciting weather isn't it?" Seth enthused. I couldn't share his excitement, this weather scared me a bit. It was mysterious and unknown and there were only certain people I knew who would brave it willingly because it held no threat to them, and sometimes they weren't people you'd want to cross.

"I must admit I find it a bit freaky," I added, Jacob had already said that it was trapping, people had to stay in when possible and often the electricity when out or the phone lines got disrupted. Both Seth and Jake nodded but only casually and they both looked thoughtful.

"Still exciting." Seth added.

The night passed at a normal speed, we ate hot dogs and pizza's and the men drank beer. There was a nice tone and it felt like a family gathering, or like a small community enclosed for the storm, except if it were my community it was missing a vital ingredient. My mind wondered back to him constantly through the evening and I felt bad in case I seemed distracted. I owed Jacob all my attention but I felt I could only relay half. Jacob didn't appear to have noticed.

I barely noticed that it was almost midnight when Charlie called me away highlighting that I had school tomorrow. The Clearwater's had left before us and I'd been talking to Jacob about school and his friends, letting him get carried away with his stories. We said our goodbyes and I thanked Billy for the food.

Just before we left, Jacob caught hold of my hand and held it tightly there, "don't let it be long before I see you again Bells." I felt a pang of guilt, I knew I didn't see him often but I didn't realise it was so obvious to him and that I played that much of a part in his life that he would notice. I promised him it wouldn't be which I immediately felt bad about, I couldn't help but feel we were on different wavelengths with our friendship ever since my outrageous flirting at La Push ages ago now when I manipulated him... Nonetheless I loved his company, I just missed my real world, my Edward. It sounded odd that a mythical creature was my real world, and he was the only world I could ever exist in.

**A/N: Thanks for reading guys I realise this was a pretty long chapter, I'd be sooo grateful for reviews. I want opinions, good or bad. Thanks, laura xxxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I want to thank Faith Evans for reviewing all the time (: I also want to thank Nicki1234 and you should DEFINITELY read her fanfiction 'All play the player'- its so good. **

**Okay so, I have a problem with this story in that because it is set in between Twilight and New Moon I can't have a huge story line because it wouldn't fit for something huge to happen that isn't mentioned in New Moon. I'm afraid that if I don't have any ideas then I will probably stop writing it because I want a story where I can explore a bit more…**

**However I am prepared to keep writing if anyone can suggest anything that will mean there is still continuity between the books. Or… if I had enough people tell me that doesn't matter I will continue with this story and I will expand the plot and make something really exciting happen…**

**PLEASE review because I can see on my story traffic that people are reading my story but I have not received many reviews. I would be amazingly grateful to anyone that can give me ideas and I will help them out if they want it proofreading, reviews etc.**

**PLEASEEEEE.**

**Sorry I've babbled, I'm going to write this chapter although it's kind of just another filler… Thank you so much for your persistence. Sorry I haven't updated lately. It's the whole plot problem. Thanks to my readers and reviewers. I LOVE YOU ALLLL ******

**P.S review! Please! Xxxxxxxxxx**

Chapter 7: ****

The week seemed to pass in a flash after that. As did the bad weather. The weather man was wrong and unsurprisingly Alice was right, and after Tuesday night with the big storm the weather calmed. It was now just the usual for Forks; grey, gloomy and overcast. But never had the forest looked so vibrant before.

The trees glistened from the wet and the forest glowed emerald. The wind had knocked some trees into the road causing a few problems and Charlie was busy at work trying to clear roads and accidents. It was still blustery, but the calm after the storm had definitely arrived.

It was Saturday and I was relieved that school wasn't going to interfere with my day with Edward. He smiled across the kitchen at me as he watched me eating my breakfast.

"So Miss Swan, what are you going to do with me today?" he asked, his voice melodic.

I thought for a second. It was still damp and the clouds looked ominous, greyer now than when I'd woken up. "I don't know really, it doesn't look great outside but the storm kept us in enough, I want to get out."

"Then how about I whisk you away, but if you accept then it's a secret. A mystery tour." I couldn't help but smile, his last surprise outing had proved to be remarkable. But it was wet, I didn't want to walk through the forest again.

"I don't think my fragile human bones can handle the forest today, the moss is lethal in the wet."

He laughed sharply, adding a comical seriousness to his tone "Bella, do you think I would endanger you in that way? You mean so much more to me…" I cut him off pulling myself out of my chair and standing against him, kissing him. I pulled my fingers through his hair as I kissed him and squeezed myself against his statuesque figure. "Careful, you're going to break me Bella," he added mockingly.

I kissed him with all my strength but I could sense he was feeling cautious. As if I was a skeletal leaf, prone to disintegration. He kissed me for a few more minutes, enough to make my mind twirl and then he pulled away keeping a firm grasp on my waist.

I couldn't help but sigh. He cast his eyes up momentarily but then let out a small chuckle. "No seriously, we won't be walking in the forest. You're _fragile human bones_-" he mimicked my voice well, "-will survive another day."

"Well then I surrender, just tell me, what shall I wear?" I turned around to scoop up my empty cereal bowl and then broke out of his hold to put it by the sink. It felt wasteful to leave his hands so I returned to them before he had answered, hauling myself into his body.

"You look stunning in everything Bella-" he must've assessed the look of scepticism but also misunderstanding on my face. "Oh okay, practicality wise, I'd go for jeans and a jumper. You might want a coat too in case it rains. It smells like it might."

I raised my eyebrow. _It smells like it might_, I didn't realise that clouds had an enhanced scent as they bore more moisture, yet another thing that Edward could teach me about… My bitterness was simply a result of his compliment, it embarrassed me when I stood by him feeling substantially physically inferior.

I pecked his lips, not wanting to get too distracted, "give me a second." And I thought I ran up the stairs with what I thought was delicacy for me. However he heard each clunk and bang louder and heard each heave as I hurtled up the stairs.

*********************

The Volvo rolled over the road and the fallen twigs perished soundlessly under its wheels. Edward was pushing 90mph on windy roads and I leant over to tap the speedometer. It was a smooth decent of speed as his foot relieved the accelerator. I didn't know where we were, I lost track once we'd left Fork's, distracted by Edwards humming and the light comfortable conversation.

He adamantly refused to give me any clues as to where we were going and I could only hope this surprise was an 'Edwards place' surprise and not a prom surprise. The sun was high in the sky but masked by the gloomy clouds which barricaded its heat penetration and kept the atmosphere chilly.

Edward had turned the heat right up though.

We'd been driving while and I was wondering if we're still in the state. "Charlie will notice if you take me from Washington, you know?"

He smiled my favourite crooked smile, "I left a note detailing where you were and what time you'd be back." He seemed smug.

"Of course you did." I turned to look at the window and smiled. Of course I would've only conjured the thought of leaving a note half a millennia later, my brain always worked lifetimes behind Edward's.

Half an hour later we pulled off of a freeway into a little café that looked a little grungy. I thought maybe Edward thought I'd be thirsty or hungry or need to use the toilets but he opened my door for me and scooped out my coat too. "I don't need _my coat_ for a trip to the conveniences," I said teasingly, "I may be human but I won't freeze in the few minutes it takes to cross the parking lot."

He laughed again. "It isn't a fleeting visit Bella." What? I was spending my day in this café? They could serve the world's greatest fries or the world's biggest cola, but Edward wouldn't be appreciative of that, would he? Maybe I was missing something here…

Edward seemed chuffed with my bewildered expression, "you truly have no idea do you, your not just going along with me?" I frowned, "I thought maybe Charlie would have let you in on it or maybe Renee."

"Renee?" What did my mother have to do with this? If Charlie was in on it then why did Edward leave a note? "Please explain Edward."

"It seems it all went to plan then. Well Renee wanted to visit but she wanted to surprise you so she spoke to Charlie and he suggested this weekend. We all thought she was coming Sunday morning until she rang me last night when she couldn't contact Charlie- that's why I left the note."

"Renee, is here?" I was completely shocked. Maybe I was being naïve to the goings on around me but I was thrilled that my mother was here! And for Charlie to be in on it too, he usually disagreed with surprises and secrecy. I was so grateful to Edward and to Charlie. I threw my arms around Edward's neck and kissed him passionately.

I pulled back so he could answer my assumption… he smiled widely, "yes Bella she's here. You've been talking about her in your sleep, missing her really and so I thought you wouldn't mind the surprise."

"Oh Edward of course not, thank you so much!" I kissed him again.

"She's going to come back with us now and she has got a room in a bed and breakfast. She's heading home tomorrow afternoon I think." He was glowing. I didn't know if it was seeing me so elated or something else but my heart raced uncontrollably. "Now come on Bella, you're wasting your time with her."

He took my hand and led me towards the little café that now seemed perfectly pleasant. "But why here?"

"Well this was near the airport and I wanted to keep you guessing. If I followed all the signs to the airport I'd be giving it away. I guess I should've just led you in without telling really but you seemed too anxious." He pushed open the door and there was Renee, sat with a steaming drink, an over-packed suitcase by her side.

"Renee!" I almost yelled, fleeing to her, hauling Edward along with me.

"Oh Bella!" she laughed feeling the full force of my hug as it thumped against her body. I hadn't realised how much I was missing her until I was in her presence, feeling her warmth and smelling her commercialised smell.

She hugged me for a short while longer before setting me aside to kiss Edward's cheek politely. "Edward! It's nice to see you again under better circumstances." The last time they'd spent together was when I was in hospital in Phoenix after the ballet studio… I held my breath as Renee pressed her lips to Edward's icy face but she just leaned back and exhaled, "it is cold out there isn't it?"

Edward courteously bought us both a drink and something to eat. He opted for the smallest of cakes, get it over with I suppose, and he ordered me an oversized bowl of soup. Of course he offered Renee food but she said she was on a new crazy coffee diet. The hot soup felt nice as it oozed down my throat and I couldn't help but beam as I watched my miniature family interact better than I could of hoped.

Edward was outstanding socially if people gave him a chance, most people were warned off by his pale skin and his previously hostile exterior. I suppose they responded like I had to him on my first day at Fork's High School, except I soon forgot I was instinctually weary and had immediately felt a weird pull to Edward. Now I guessed that pull was fate.

Edward and Renee chatted effortlessly and Renee grilled me on all things Fork's High and all things Charlie. She still seemed concerned for him, she treated him more like an old friend than an ex-husband and I suppose that is how it worked best for them. She talked about Phil and the baseball and I couldn't resist smiling at the thought of Edward playing baseball with Phil when Renee suggested a friendly game.

Phil was stuck behind in Florida coaching some special team that apparently were doing well. Renee relayed baseball talk that Phil had obviously drummed into her, onto Edward and he seemed genuinely interested. I took Edward's hand under the table and squeezed it. He was my forever and I knew that because of his love I could exist superlatively when everyone else was gone.

**A/N: Okay so I know it was just a filler but what did you think of this chapter? **

**As mentioned earlier it is really important to me to know whether people are concerned with continuity into new moon and would prefer I wrapped this story up now, or lead it into New Moon, or whether I can forget the continuity and create a plot that doesn't flow with New Moon. Suggestions would be sooo much appreciated.**

**As I said earlier I will be happy to proofread/review anyone's stories if they can help me out a bit.**

**I'd love to know more of what people think whether people have good or bad comments. ALSO (sorry I'm going on) but would people like me to write a chapter in another Characters POV. Maybe Renee's so we can see how other people see Edward and Bella's relationship or I'll even attempt Edward. I just want to know peoples thoughts and ideas!**

**PLEASEEE REVIEW. I'll love you forever!!!! Laura xxxx **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Ok so I would like more reviews for the previous chapters really and so after adding this chapter I might wait for more reviews until I carry on. I have had one review (so far, that may've changed between looking at my story and writing now) and I'm grateful for that one so thanks.**

**That reviewer said they'd like an Edward POV chapter and for me to continue this into New Moon. I am going to try writing some chapters in other characters' POVs but I am still undecided about continuing into New Moon. If I do this then the plot in this can't be particularly new or exciting (explained in Chapter 7s author notes) and would continue along the same lines as what I have written.**

**If enough people want me to do this then I will carry on and try and write more tender moments with Bella and Edward and bring Jacob and the other characters into it more. But for me to continue writing I really need to know what the readers think. But I haven't received many reviews to tell me. **

**As I said before, if anyone can help me out and would appreciate a proof reader/reader/reviewer of their own story then I would be happy to help you if you ask. **

**Thanks to all my readers and a MASSIVE thanks to reviewers!**

**This is going to be Edward's POV and I might attempt a Renee's POV in the following chapter but it all depends on reviews! Also I would love more reviews for my other short story 'I'll love her literally evermore'.**

**Love you all, Laura xxxxxx**

Chapter 8: As I look on

Bella's face lit up when she saw Renee. She had spoken about her for weeks in her sleep. Wondering how she was and what she was up to. I knew they exchanged emails whenever they could and they both rang eachother but it had been clear to see that Bella was feeling deprived of her mother.

Nothing made me happier than seeing Bella smiling. She had a radiant smile, it sent a pulse of heat through my arctic veins. She led me over to the table where her mother was sitting, pulling me along by my hand. I could hear Bella's heart skip in exultation as she hugged Renee tightly.

I listened to their conversations and Renee politely included me and spoke to me about her husband's baseball. As I followed the conversation I picked up Bella's body language with Renee. She leaned into the conversation but gripped my hand in my lap, set back. I felt like I was the anchor holding Bella down at sea. If she wasn't tied to me here in Forks she would be with Renee in Florida, safe and loved.

I knew that if it weren't for her deluded love for me she wouldn't be with Charlie anymore now that her mother and Phil had settled. Renee couldn't cherish her in the way that I did, in that she was my entire existence and my every thought but she would love her nevertheless. She would be completely safe in Florida, not sprinting to keep up with the world where pure souls like hers did not belong.

Of course I knew vampires with pure souls, Carlisle mainly but hers was so incredible, so self-sacrificing that she couldn't belong in a world that fed from humanity. Yet I knew that it was what she wanted most which made denying her it excruciating.

It was undeniably tempting to bring Bella into my world, not to have to hold back when I kissed her or to give her chills when I held her, but I could not damn her soul. It was harder to think about now, in the presence of her mother where Bella seemed so natural, so entirely human. I loved her enough that I could see that she was better off without me. Of course I'd known this all along and I damned myself for not having the strength to give her the life she deserved where there was a heaven waiting for her.

Bella's delicate laugh pulled my focus back to her conversation. Obviously I had been aware of it but I only realised now that they were discussing colleges. Maybe Renee's high hopes would force Bella to be thinking about it seriously. It wasn't in the immediate future but I could see her in graduation gowns, handed a diploma from the University of Dartmouth. She would like it there. Bella was blushing.

_I wonder if she will be with him still by the time it gets to college. _

Renee's thought caught my attention, most of her thoughts had been about Bella's beauty and growth. Renee had noticed she'd grown, her cheekbones had become more defined and her body was curvier in all the right places. Of course all of this I had known, had memorised and treasured but this thought caught me out.

I knew that I was not nearly strong enough to leave her although I should and so I suppose it all depended on Bella. I hoped she'd fall out of her deluded love for me and find someone healthier for her. Of course then my life would be over but I would go down knowing that my true love was leading the life she should have. I could only hope someone would be kind enough to help me out in my moment of need.

_They look so serious. I haven't seen her this way before, it's as if they think in synchronisation, they coordinate with eachother's bodies and expressions…_

I smiled. I hated myself for feeling it but I was happy that people could see our love. Even if they couldn't understand the depth and enormity of it, they could still see it was there. I hoped that one day Bella would see me as I really am but whilst she felt the way she did I would thrive in it. Bella was the drug to fill the emptiness of my life before her, she was the addiction and the endless high. She was the core of my universe and the only logical meaning for my existence.

"This really is the best surprise I could have wished for, I can't thank you all enough." Bella enthused with her mother as they discussed the planning and the phone calls behind Bella's back. She squeezed my hand again under the table. I squeezed gently in return, I'm sure Renee would be suspicious if Bella brought her hand up above the table fingers deformed and knuckles flaring.

I laughed along as Renee discussed the close shave when she'd left an answer machine message not so subtly and panicked as she tried to find a way to erase it. "Good job Phil could help me out otherwise I probably would've driven to Forks just to delete it myself in which case the surprise and the deletion of the message would be wasted effort."

Bella laughed again and I smiled along effortlessly. I wasn't just being polite, I was legitimately enjoying myself as I joined Renee in teasing Bella for her ignorance to all the calls at odd hours before Charlie left for work. I couldn't help but notice the difference in my skin colour to Renee's Floridian tone. We must be shockingly contrasting to the rest of the people in the small café.

Before long it was dimming outside and I realised we'd be chatting away for hours. I was glad to have given Bella the time to talk in one place but I should've offered to drive them somewhere nicer. I always got oddly sidetracked in Bella's company, distracted by her intelligence and beauty.

"Please excuse me, I should've taken us somewhere more comfortable to catch up, let's head back to Fork's. I'm sure Charlie will be wondering if we pulled it off after he reads my note." I stood and walked to Renee, "let me take your bag."

Bella rose, grabbing her coat and followed me to where I stood, taking my empty hand in hers. "Thank you Edward, that's very kind of you."

Renee walked ahead a few paces, opening the door for me whilst I manoeuvred her case out of the doorway. She had brought a lot for a one night stay. Of course I was completely capable of manoeuvring the door as well as holding her case and Bella's hand but I smiled warmly at her gesture. Bella pointed to the Volvo and Renee again walked ahead.

"Thank you Edward," Bella whispered, rising to her toes and kissing my cheek quickly, "I love you."

I dropped her hand and put a steady arm around her waist pulling her in closer to me and I kissed the top of her head. Her hair smelt like lilies and honey. The rain had stayed off but it was still grey in the sky.

The drive home had been as effortless conversationally as the time in the compact café had been. I had to work to keep to the speed limits though, I didn't want Renee to see my control driving at speeds Bella's truck couldn't have reached in its heyday. Her trust was important to me, as important as Charlie's is. Bella told Renee about school and her grades and her teachers and her friends and I just sat back and listened to the sound of the voice that gave me reason.

I pulled into Charlie's driveway and stopped the car. I didn't know whether I should leave Bella to talk to Renee alone for a while. Renee had been thinking of a few questions on the drive home that would require my absence. _'Are they sleeping together?'_ came to my mind and I shuddered slightly at the thought of the danger that would put Bella in.

Renee hopped out of the car to greet Charlie who stepped out into the front yard at the sound of our approach. _I hope Edward gave a good impression. I need her to know I'm looking after Bella, caring for her_ flickered across his mind. From what Renee was thinking she seemed to approve and that made me surprisingly more relieved than I thought I would be. Of course she was slightly curious of my gold eyes and pale skin but apart from that…

I took Renee's distance as a chance to ask Bella if I should let Renee ask her questions. I strode around the car flashing a polite smile at Charlie who in response thought '_he better not have mentioned my shortness with him after Bella's accident,' _and held open Bella's door, taking her hand. "Bella, Renee wants to talk to you alone, maybe I should call home for a while. I could come back this evening to take her to her bed and breakfast."

"Questions?" she asked sceptically, her heart rate picked up a few beats but I'd heard it beat faster, much faster.

"Just a few things about us, nothing too hard to answer I don't think…" I tried to reassure her, I didn't want her to waste her time with her mother fretting.

"Oh. Well okay." She seemed apprehensive, maybe I shouldn't have said anything, "but promise me you'll come back in an hour or two?" She stepped out of the car and hugged me.

"Of course Bella. I'll be waiting." I went to fetch Renee's bag from the trunk in case she wanted anything from it before I picked her up later and then I walked hand in hand with Bella to where Charlie and Renee were stood. I felt awkward, although they didn't know it, I could hear the slight discomfort in their thoughts and I could hear that Charlie still cared an awful lot about his ex-wife…

_She looks happy, did I ever make her that happy? _He thought. I tried to block him out, I felt wrong intruding on his love when I could see him desperately try to conceal it. "Good evening Charlie," I'd give him some polite then, if it's what he wanted of me in front of Renee. His thoughts were smug. "Renee, here's your bag. I have to call home for a while but I will swing by later and I can take you to your B&B."

_Bella could've done much worse_ Charlie thought. This was high praise from Charlie's thoughts and I smiled to myself very momentarily so nobody would've caught it. "Edward that's very kind but it's unnecessary, I can call a cab or something, you've done too much already". Again Charlie's thoughts were happy.

Bella leant her head into my chest, "No really its fine Renee, I need to bring Bella something from my house anyway so I'll be coming back," I was receiving suspicious ramblings from Charlie's thoughts, "something from Esme" I quickly added.

I quickly passed off Renee's case to Charlie who was waiting for it and they turned on into the house, obviously sensing I wanted to talk to Bella. "I'll be back later sweetheart, don't worry I won't be listening… by the way."

"Edward if she is asking anything about us then I don't mind if you hear my answer, I can't express to Renee how I really feel about you, I couldn't find the words even if I searched for a lifetime… or longer." I flinched minutely at her hint but then leant down to kiss her.

"Bella Swan, nothing holds meaning for me without you, you are my everything and more. I love you immeasurably." I kissed her again, passionately, and then watched her retreat into the house, her beautiful hair bouncing with her stride.

**A/N: Okay so I hope you liked this chapter. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review!**

**I will only update after receiving more reviews telling me where people think I should go with this story. I would like to try the next chapter in Renee's POV to write about how she see's them together. We kind of got an insight with her thoughts in this chapter but yess….**

**PLEASE give any feedback. I would be massively grateful forever! Any favours by anyone just let me know.**

**Thank you for reading. It makes me feel special when my hits and visitors goes up on my story traffic (:**

**Love you all (especially reviewers :P)**

**Laura xxxx **


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